Day 25 - thoughts on imposter syndrome
"Oooo," said the proprietor of the tea shop, "Cambridge..."
"Yes, I think everyone who goes there looks 'round and thinks, Heavens! Surely there's been a mistake!" I answered blithely. "At least I did."
My first real experience of imposter syndrome happened upon my acceptance to the University of Cambridge. Up until that time I had felt a certain, if not smugness, at least satisfaction in the hard work that had gone into my achievements. But knowing that I had neither the credentials nor the experience to warrant the coveted spot in the Education Faculty that I was offered gave me a different view. All of the sudden, I felt a little unsure of myself as the second youngest person in my class. I had only taught as an assistant teacher in a small private school... for one year. Why was I here amongst veterans seeking headship (to become a principal) or other prestigious roles? As time went on I found that a) there were a lot of other students who, despite their experience or lack thereof, felt very similarly; and b) I was capable of doing quality work at the level that was expected of me. I had amazing support in my fellow classmates, my supervisor, and the people who graciously allowed me to use their organizations and students as my test cases for my thesis work. Instead of sinking into a whirlpool of self-doubt, I learned again how to call upon the resources available to me and grow in my skills.
I am aware, though, that the coaching I received early on from my parents, teachers, and other mentor-figures had a tremendous impact on my success, both academic and otherwise. I have had the benefit of not only cheerleaders, but also more experienced people who could expose me to resources and teach me how to use them for everything - from finances to chemistry, essays to insurance shopping. I believe that the coaching I have benefitted from has eased my path in virtually every endeavor I have attempted and has also given me the ability to recover from failure and try again.
Not everyone has those coaches and when I am given the opportunity and privilege to speak into someone's life on a matter of import I have realized that I can't let insecurity or 'imposter syndrome,' or the possibility of offending someone rob both of us - me of the opportunity of sharing and encouraging or them of the gift of another perspective. I don't know it all, but I do know how to find things out, how to build someone up, how to help if or when they fail. Others may or may not appreciate my insight or experience, but if it's asked for, graciously/humbly offered, and even considered than the exchange was worthwhile. My hope is to be able to pay at least a small dividend out from all the investment I have received to help someone else move forward. If I can do that, than I am not an imposter.
"Oooo," said the proprietor of the tea shop, "Cambridge..."
"Yes, I think everyone who goes there looks 'round and thinks, Heavens! Surely there's been a mistake!" I answered blithely. "At least I did."
My first real experience of imposter syndrome happened upon my acceptance to the University of Cambridge. Up until that time I had felt a certain, if not smugness, at least satisfaction in the hard work that had gone into my achievements. But knowing that I had neither the credentials nor the experience to warrant the coveted spot in the Education Faculty that I was offered gave me a different view. All of the sudden, I felt a little unsure of myself as the second youngest person in my class. I had only taught as an assistant teacher in a small private school... for one year. Why was I here amongst veterans seeking headship (to become a principal) or other prestigious roles? As time went on I found that a) there were a lot of other students who, despite their experience or lack thereof, felt very similarly; and b) I was capable of doing quality work at the level that was expected of me. I had amazing support in my fellow classmates, my supervisor, and the people who graciously allowed me to use their organizations and students as my test cases for my thesis work. Instead of sinking into a whirlpool of self-doubt, I learned again how to call upon the resources available to me and grow in my skills.
I am aware, though, that the coaching I received early on from my parents, teachers, and other mentor-figures had a tremendous impact on my success, both academic and otherwise. I have had the benefit of not only cheerleaders, but also more experienced people who could expose me to resources and teach me how to use them for everything - from finances to chemistry, essays to insurance shopping. I believe that the coaching I have benefitted from has eased my path in virtually every endeavor I have attempted and has also given me the ability to recover from failure and try again.
Not everyone has those coaches and when I am given the opportunity and privilege to speak into someone's life on a matter of import I have realized that I can't let insecurity or 'imposter syndrome,' or the possibility of offending someone rob both of us - me of the opportunity of sharing and encouraging or them of the gift of another perspective. I don't know it all, but I do know how to find things out, how to build someone up, how to help if or when they fail. Others may or may not appreciate my insight or experience, but if it's asked for, graciously/humbly offered, and even considered than the exchange was worthwhile. My hope is to be able to pay at least a small dividend out from all the investment I have received to help someone else move forward. If I can do that, than I am not an imposter.
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