Day 19
I'm veering off the 100 day prompt list, but counting the entry anyway. :)
I sat in a sermon this past weekend that stirred something in me that has simmered for a long time. The speaker subtly spoke to the fairly large number of retirees in the congregation through one of his illustrations. He told how, while he was in college, he had worked as a customer sales associate at a Fred Meyer (like a Kroger for those who don't have a Freddy's) that primarily served a retiree and refugee constituency. He explained that he was either the best CSA that his customers had ever met, or the worst, depending on the population. He went on to explain that to the refugees he served, they lumped him in with everything they felt was great about America, he could give them the back-to-school list for their children, show them where everything was and make sure they left with everything they needed. He was, to them, a hero. On the other hand, the retirees were, as he labeled it, experts in their passions and he had, perhaps unluckily, been charged with the guardianship of both the automotive and the lawn and garden departments. Suffice it to say he had little experience in either area. Anyway, he told how, when helping an older gentleman looking for wipers for his '64 Mustang, he asked whether it was a Dodge or Chevy while looking up the wiper requirements in his directory-style notebook, which earned him a look of utter contempt along with a quick exit by the customer. Apparently this reaction to his ignorance was fairly common. He also shared how he was as green as could be when anyone asked about lawn and garden (but was, in his words, perfectly capable of hauling and stacking the bags of manure there). He then went on to talk about an older woman who had been gardening for years and would mosey through the aisles "talking to herself" about the pine needles dropping on her lawn were shifting the pH in the soil and how she needed lime to "sweeten" it, or about the nitrogen content of fertilizer - just loud enough so he could hear (and which pieces of wisdom he quickly made a note of in his handy little pocket notebook).
He explained how those people who were experts in those areas he knew little about often had one of those two reactions, disdain or an impulse to share and guide that greenhorn to a little more expertise. This idea has been bubbling around in my brain for at least the last seven or so years and I've bounced it off a few people to see if I'm isolated in my experience, but over the course of my adulthood, I've found myself asking again and again: why do older people retire from Christianity? Obviously they're not exiting the church - at least, there are plenty of older adults in most of the churches I've attended - but where are the older adults seeking to pour into the younger generations outside of their biological family?
As a little girl and again as a young woman and again and again as a full grown adult I have read Titus 2 and wondered where all those women are that are supposed to be exhorted to teach me how to love my husband [and children]. I've had "older" women - that is, older than me - teach me as a teen and a few "older" women pour into me as a young adult, nearly newlywed, and just married woman; but I have yet to have a woman who is retired take me aside and ask if we can get coffee or sew together or do anything where we can build a relationship. But, please understand, this isn't condemnation at all; in fact, I think a genuine apology is in order:
I would like to personally apologize to anyone who is retired who has been stonewalled by someone in my generation. I have no doubt that there are some women who have reached out and gotten disinterest at best and disdain at worst. Young people - like me - can be rude, inconsiderate, foolish, or just too busy and too shortsighted to make that kind of relationship a priority. For those responses (or lack of response) I am genuinely and thoroughly sorry.
At the same time, if you are a retired woman (or man, for that matter) and haven't reached out to a younger person, whether for fear of being rejected, feeling burned by young people who haven't valued you, or just feeling like you don't have much to contribute, I'd like to offer the following encouragement:
1) You absolutely do have something to offer. I recently spoke with a dear friend a generation ahead of me and was trying to encourage her to be open and vulnerable with her life story. She seemed concerned that being truthful and thorough about sharing her testimony might somehow discredit her in the eyes of her peers or the young women she hopes to mentor. I urged her to consider many, if not most, of the people whose stories are recorded in the Bible. God doesn't glaze over their faults and use pretty language to cover the ugly that they did or was done to them. A redemption-working God is not put off by the failures of people and we shouldn't be either. In fact, some of the people who have had the greatest impact on me were the ones who were real about the hard stuff in their life. If I can relate, I can receive from them. So you don't have to be perfect, you just have to be present. Your experience is valuable, but it's not going to bring the kind of harvest it's capable of if you don't put it out there.
2) You aren't going to hit a home run every time. For those who have made the effort and been burned, I'd like to offer the same encouragement I used to share with the student bible study leaders I mentored after college: you won't win them all. Even Jesus lost a disciple, so if you make a big investment in someone and they don't turn out the way you expect or would like, don't be deterred. I love to look at the story of Moses; he poured everything he had into his brother Aaron - presumably in hopes that he would be, at least, a great co-leader - and if you'll excuse my opinion, he was a pretty miserable failure. But the thing is, if Moses had given up there, we would never have known about Joshua. There are going to be Judases and Aarons if you make investments in people, but if you let that deter you, you'll never help to build a Joshua.
3) The Great Commission doesn't expire at age 65. I know plenty of older people who have devoted their life to overseas missions and I'm not making the assumption that older believers are consciously thinking to themselves, "I've aged out, I'm not responsible for this mission anymore." What I am suggesting is that older age has the potential to be the MOST fruitful time of your life. Not only do you have time, but you have what younger people with time don't have: life experience that's worth sharing. Please don't act like you know it all (it's always easier to receive from someone who is also teachable), but please do share what you know with that beautiful motivation of making disciples of Jesus; not just evangelizing, but helping those who already believe in Jesus follow Him with their whole hearts. People like me.
I'd like to finish with a heart-felt plea:
Older believers, brothers, sisters,
Please don't retire from Christianity. Those of us who are younger need you. We may be hard to love, headstrong, ignorant, or the worst customer service associate you've ever had, but we need your love, your experience, your coaching, and your humility to get down on our level, listen, and help us follow Christ. You haven't been perfect - we're not expecting you to be. You may have had failures in your life and you may have felt like you failed in some of the mentoring relationships you might have pursued before, but please don't let those people who didn't value you keep you from pouring into all these young believers who desperately need another grandmother or grandfather in the faith. You can still make disciples and teach them to obey all that the Lord has commanded you - let us be some more jewels in your future crown! And maybe, just maybe, we can offer you something too - our love, our help, our zeal. We need you.
I'm veering off the 100 day prompt list, but counting the entry anyway. :)
I sat in a sermon this past weekend that stirred something in me that has simmered for a long time. The speaker subtly spoke to the fairly large number of retirees in the congregation through one of his illustrations. He told how, while he was in college, he had worked as a customer sales associate at a Fred Meyer (like a Kroger for those who don't have a Freddy's) that primarily served a retiree and refugee constituency. He explained that he was either the best CSA that his customers had ever met, or the worst, depending on the population. He went on to explain that to the refugees he served, they lumped him in with everything they felt was great about America, he could give them the back-to-school list for their children, show them where everything was and make sure they left with everything they needed. He was, to them, a hero. On the other hand, the retirees were, as he labeled it, experts in their passions and he had, perhaps unluckily, been charged with the guardianship of both the automotive and the lawn and garden departments. Suffice it to say he had little experience in either area. Anyway, he told how, when helping an older gentleman looking for wipers for his '64 Mustang, he asked whether it was a Dodge or Chevy while looking up the wiper requirements in his directory-style notebook, which earned him a look of utter contempt along with a quick exit by the customer. Apparently this reaction to his ignorance was fairly common. He also shared how he was as green as could be when anyone asked about lawn and garden (but was, in his words, perfectly capable of hauling and stacking the bags of manure there). He then went on to talk about an older woman who had been gardening for years and would mosey through the aisles "talking to herself" about the pine needles dropping on her lawn were shifting the pH in the soil and how she needed lime to "sweeten" it, or about the nitrogen content of fertilizer - just loud enough so he could hear (and which pieces of wisdom he quickly made a note of in his handy little pocket notebook).
He explained how those people who were experts in those areas he knew little about often had one of those two reactions, disdain or an impulse to share and guide that greenhorn to a little more expertise. This idea has been bubbling around in my brain for at least the last seven or so years and I've bounced it off a few people to see if I'm isolated in my experience, but over the course of my adulthood, I've found myself asking again and again: why do older people retire from Christianity? Obviously they're not exiting the church - at least, there are plenty of older adults in most of the churches I've attended - but where are the older adults seeking to pour into the younger generations outside of their biological family?
As a little girl and again as a young woman and again and again as a full grown adult I have read Titus 2 and wondered where all those women are that are supposed to be exhorted to teach me how to love my husband [and children]. I've had "older" women - that is, older than me - teach me as a teen and a few "older" women pour into me as a young adult, nearly newlywed, and just married woman; but I have yet to have a woman who is retired take me aside and ask if we can get coffee or sew together or do anything where we can build a relationship. But, please understand, this isn't condemnation at all; in fact, I think a genuine apology is in order:
I would like to personally apologize to anyone who is retired who has been stonewalled by someone in my generation. I have no doubt that there are some women who have reached out and gotten disinterest at best and disdain at worst. Young people - like me - can be rude, inconsiderate, foolish, or just too busy and too shortsighted to make that kind of relationship a priority. For those responses (or lack of response) I am genuinely and thoroughly sorry.
At the same time, if you are a retired woman (or man, for that matter) and haven't reached out to a younger person, whether for fear of being rejected, feeling burned by young people who haven't valued you, or just feeling like you don't have much to contribute, I'd like to offer the following encouragement:
1) You absolutely do have something to offer. I recently spoke with a dear friend a generation ahead of me and was trying to encourage her to be open and vulnerable with her life story. She seemed concerned that being truthful and thorough about sharing her testimony might somehow discredit her in the eyes of her peers or the young women she hopes to mentor. I urged her to consider many, if not most, of the people whose stories are recorded in the Bible. God doesn't glaze over their faults and use pretty language to cover the ugly that they did or was done to them. A redemption-working God is not put off by the failures of people and we shouldn't be either. In fact, some of the people who have had the greatest impact on me were the ones who were real about the hard stuff in their life. If I can relate, I can receive from them. So you don't have to be perfect, you just have to be present. Your experience is valuable, but it's not going to bring the kind of harvest it's capable of if you don't put it out there.
2) You aren't going to hit a home run every time. For those who have made the effort and been burned, I'd like to offer the same encouragement I used to share with the student bible study leaders I mentored after college: you won't win them all. Even Jesus lost a disciple, so if you make a big investment in someone and they don't turn out the way you expect or would like, don't be deterred. I love to look at the story of Moses; he poured everything he had into his brother Aaron - presumably in hopes that he would be, at least, a great co-leader - and if you'll excuse my opinion, he was a pretty miserable failure. But the thing is, if Moses had given up there, we would never have known about Joshua. There are going to be Judases and Aarons if you make investments in people, but if you let that deter you, you'll never help to build a Joshua.
3) The Great Commission doesn't expire at age 65. I know plenty of older people who have devoted their life to overseas missions and I'm not making the assumption that older believers are consciously thinking to themselves, "I've aged out, I'm not responsible for this mission anymore." What I am suggesting is that older age has the potential to be the MOST fruitful time of your life. Not only do you have time, but you have what younger people with time don't have: life experience that's worth sharing. Please don't act like you know it all (it's always easier to receive from someone who is also teachable), but please do share what you know with that beautiful motivation of making disciples of Jesus; not just evangelizing, but helping those who already believe in Jesus follow Him with their whole hearts. People like me.
I'd like to finish with a heart-felt plea:
Older believers, brothers, sisters,
Please don't retire from Christianity. Those of us who are younger need you. We may be hard to love, headstrong, ignorant, or the worst customer service associate you've ever had, but we need your love, your experience, your coaching, and your humility to get down on our level, listen, and help us follow Christ. You haven't been perfect - we're not expecting you to be. You may have had failures in your life and you may have felt like you failed in some of the mentoring relationships you might have pursued before, but please don't let those people who didn't value you keep you from pouring into all these young believers who desperately need another grandmother or grandfather in the faith. You can still make disciples and teach them to obey all that the Lord has commanded you - let us be some more jewels in your future crown! And maybe, just maybe, we can offer you something too - our love, our help, our zeal. We need you.
Comments
Post a Comment